Cup of Joe has been running for 13 years(!) Therefore, we have decided that each week we will highlight one of the most popular posts from the past. This is a more important than ever, originally published on October 3,2016…
As a mother, I always wanted my children to be kind to everyone and accept people without prejudice or stereotypes. I think, by”color-blind”, or not to draw attention to the game, I represented each of them is equal. But after I read a Washington Post article explained that a colorblind approach may actually do more harm than good. To further educate yourself, I talked to Lori Taliaferro Riddick and Sachi Feris from the fantastic website, to improve the race to find the child, here’s what they told me…
Lori’s identity, as a black mixed-race/multiracial and unfortunately a white Jewish woman of Russian, Polish, Lebanese, Syrian and Cuban descent. Each of them has two children.
In the name of the game
Farewell: parents can be so nervous to make a mistake, they avoid talking about race. They make an assumption that the topic is not yet up to their kids yet. But that is incorrect. It is easy to imagine the child not to see something, we are not familiar with, and they observe the world around them with a higher level of accuracy than we notice or want them.
When reading a children’s book you might say,”I saw a photo in here, it has three little girls and one has pale skin, we call that white, we are white, and there is another little girl with brown skin.” We’re just talking, like we said the sky is blue. Finally, you can teach higher-level critical thinking, you already have this language in your Toolbox.
Lori: very young children we often point out the color of the buses, trains and grass, because we teach them about the world. We are naming all these things, but we are not talking about people of color. In some ways, it’s really weird there’s this whole description, we do not deal with the problem. It teaches kids, this game is not good to talk about. When the parents are remain silent is a child of their own story Why.
Farewell: parents are often asked which words they should be used to describe complexion. We advocate for the use of these two types of words—the actual color(such as”brown”or”peach”)is more descriptive and more accurate of what we actually see; however, my use of the word”white”,”black”, even if it is a social construct, just in order to for my children. If I don’t use these words, it is difficult to talk about a larger way in the race of our society.
Lori: some parents will say,”I don’t want to say that person is black,”I said,”Black is not not happy, they’re black.” I think it is important to eliminate this idea.
At the beginning of a greater talk about the game
Fortunately: as a white woman, I have never heard of”white privilege”until I get to the University. I don’t want my kid to learn at 18 that white privilege exists, is very real. I hope they understand that as children. They are very difficult to understand their villain can make a difference in the world and their immediate lives, if they did not know to talk about it.
We do not expect any family to have their first dialogue on race or racial justice when another tragic media stories about the police and a black man. This is not somewhere that anyone can start, if they haven’t been building vocabulary and comfort and confidence.
Black Lives Matter is a tangible and easily accessible place to participate in a young people. I might say to my children:”we live in a world, which is unfair. People are not the same treats all the time, it to do with how we see time. People who are white don’t need to worry about this, but people who are black do at the time. We are different treatment according to our skin tone; we do not want of the world is such, and it is important that we stand up. We do not want to live in a world where people are black is not safe.” The concept of fairness and unfairness is a very practical thing for a three or four year old!
I organized a small gathering with some neighbors, make Black Lives Matter shirt with fabric markers and window sign, in honor of the wearing out of the silence. For me, this is a specific way to get my kids in the dismantling of white privilege, but in so small a way.
In children’s books
Fortunately: with the book about the contest, there are two types: a diverse role, kind of the point of the book(such as the ubiquitous baby), and our goal the name of the game. Then there are the books, the direct dialogue—let’s talk about race by Julius Lester or color, us by Karen Katz.
Lori: it is also important to book with the role of a monk Isn’t it About race—normalization of the idea that it is sufficient. (That’s a great slate post about this,too.) These stories of the daily lives of people are worth it. For example, Ismail Jack Keats books are wonderful. (Here are more children’s books with the character.)
People color crayons, but also allows students from a variety of colors to represent themselves and others in their works of art the way the traditional color scheme did not. They are used to support the student’s exploration of race and color. There are a variety of toy—black and white toy doll, for example.
In everyday conversation
Fortunately my daughter knows her white. I don’t know when I knew I was white, and not when I was four. It’s not like it’s such a strict thing where you did something wrong, if you don’t talk about the game every day, but the more experience I’ve gained as a parent, the more everyday experience, it is me. If I go basketball court by my house, to see most of the kids play that day was a brown skin boy, if I don’t break it, and said some days, we see a variety of ethnic groups, and sometimes we see the girls playing, and then I let my children see stereotypes every day.
Looking for a wide variety of community
Lori: having a diverse group of friends is important, because it is possible. Of course, we work with some people just in homogenous communities, which makes it difficult. Mutual help of the children, especially to break these prejudices, otherwise they will think. We can join a soccer League or swim team, more diverse. Trying to find a Church with people not the same color as you. The opportunity to do things that are more integrated–there is value in looking for them, if this is important to you.
More posts by Lori and happiness.:
*How to ask questions about the differences.
*”Is that your mom?”
*Why I use the word”black”and”white”and”brown”and”peaches”
More great articles:
*Children are not colorblind
*How silence can breed prejudice(this sentence jumped out me:”the silence of the race to eliminate opportunities for children to learn diversity, from their parents, and put it in the hands of the media and misguided peers. TV, movies and video games are full of stereotypes, and over time, children pick up these. They see blacks portrayed as criminals, Hispanics as uneducated service workers, Asians as unassimilated foreigners and white men as powerful as the CEO. No discussion about the error. In these images, and a conscious effort to make their opposition to the stereotypical examples that kids will unwittingly through these images as evidence of how the world should be, these works become a breeding ground for prejudice.”)
Lori and happiness.
Thoughts? How do you talk about race with your kids? Do you have any other comments or suggestions? Thank you so much.
P. S. 5 books that teach kids kindness and children’s books with the character.
(Illustration by Erin sheets come in a Cup of Joe.)